MARCH 28, 2011

Friends. Excel Spreadsheets. Laughter. Ocular Migraines

I have to say this week is a little like reliving the week prior to surgery five years ago…FIVE!! I can’t believe it.  This week’s post is about the importance of friendships and how the strength of  girlfriends and friends really can take you through the journey of life.

At this point 5 years ago, my mind was made up…I was a week away from surgery.  I remember that this day (or maybe tomorrow) I had my first ocular migraine, even though at that point I thought I was going blind.  I remember laughing in my cube thinking great in 6 days, i am going to shave my head, have two holes drilled in my skull and now I am going blind too…I remember breathing and after an hour of doing work with one eye open it went away…because I just started thinking relax, it is going to be fine you won’t be alone…

and i wasn’t alone…I have many to thank….

Melissa – I still saved the spreadsheet…

Melissa, I will never ever forget this spreadsheet, it was the spreadsheet of when people could visit…Gillian – the Flinstones vitamins are still one to be laughed at and I remember you were my first walk…sorry if I scared you as I almost fainted in Barnes and Nobles..Delaney and Ellen – you were fabulous in WINY!!!

I have to give special thanks to Ilana, Gabrielle, Liz, Joyti and Heather…you were all so amazing with all the help prior to surgery.  Keeping me sane, keeping my spirits up and as much as I know you all thought I was crazy for doing this; you were all supportive knowing that I was trapped in a body that I had no control of…yet always saying what limp?

Without my friends and the spreadsheet going around, I don’t think I would have been able to go in as strong as I did to brain surgery…I remember I had a dinner Friday before the surgery with many friends..the Last Supper – I called it…I remember I called it that not because I thought bad things were going to happen at surgery…but because I wanted it to be my last dinner with friends where I could barely walk and fall over myself…

Fast forward 5 years later…and as I did yoga yesterday and lay in shavasana I started to cry, not really sure why..I just did.  I remembered that little girl at age 11 whose foot was so contorted that she couldn’t sleep.  My foot so violently spasming that I had to call my mother to hold me all night as I tried to fight something over taking my body and crying…today, that little girl runs for every boy or girl who has a night like I did at age 11.

Thank you to all my amazing friends who supported me and nursed me back to health and cheer me on everyday!



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2 responses to “MARCH 28, 2011

  1. Carrie, being that I have known you most of my life, and knew you and your sister before being diagnosed, and have watched both of you struggle to get this beast at bay I will admit that I am ashamed that I never fully understood the suffering you endured. I remember you as always smiling and laughing and eating cake in our kitchen, cutting up with my dad. You gals really are amazing. To take such risks. I am in awe. Your bravery is really something to be proud of. I always thought of you as intelligent, but after following your blog and somewhat catching up with you I see a whole new side of you. People like you and Suzie change lives. You level the playing field for those that are hurt or sick. You are the faces of determination. Keep up the great work and never waiver. 26.2 is well within your reach!

  2. You continue to amaze me Carrie Siu Butt. The gratitude you express to those who have supported you all these years is beautiful. This world is lucky to have you.

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