October 13, 2013

Posted on by Carrie Siubutt

Keep smiling, keep shining…

SO we are one week away from race day and for all those of you that have raced with me….knows how i get race week and esp race day…I am getting those butterflies already for so many reasons, the hills, the fact that I am racing by myself but I am going to think about the song – that’s what friends are for….my friend Heather will be coming out to cheer for me and those of you that have nothing to do at 8am at the finish line, come cheer for me…but all kidding aside these last 3 weeks are the 3 weeks for me to smile, for me to shine and for me to lean on my friends and just surrender to race day, surrender to the crowd, surrender to my inner strength…

But more than that, I surrendered myself to fate on April 4, 2006 and if anyone had ever told me I would be one of the lucky 30,000 to get chosen for the Nike race, I wouldn’t have believed it…so I surrender myself to what race day will bring me, and I do know I will keep smiling, keep shining….

here is the link to the video…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGbnua2kSa8

October 7th…

Posted on by Carrie Siubutt

Life beyond running..

You never know what life is going to bring you some days.  I had the opportunity to go away with 20 of my female classmates and came out stronger due to the experience.  My friend Maria, looked over and said Carrie do you want to go paddleboarding and I said sure, why not.  I didn’t think twice about dystonia or the balance that I would need or that you are navigating a board in the sea, I just said yes…Four of us went to a cute town in Capitola and it was a perfect day!  We went around 4pm and my friends went on the board and then it was my turn.  

As I tried and fell in the water, I started to say “I can’t….”and was cut short by Tim my instructor…He said Carrie, I have vertigo, don’t let whatever it is hold you back.  You can’t miss out on this beautiful experience. So I said you are right, tried again and fell and then decided let’s do it Carrie’s way…and I did…dropped on my knees and paddleboarded on my knees…I am so glad Tim told me to try…and oh by the way on your knees is pretty difficult as well…

But what I saw words can’t describe….the sun setting on the water, an octopus swimming to my left, a 4 foot sea otter jumping out of the water right next to me and seals bopping around me all the way…I thought to myself – this is life. I will remember this moment, this complete tranquility, and I always remember I can do anything I put my mind to!  I am so glad I tried, it was such an amazing experience…as we came in Tim asked do you want to try again? Without even thinking, I said yes, and I got up and I did it!  It was so amazing…

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I want to thank my friends for believing in me – Maria, Olivia, Gillian – you gave me a gift no one can ever take away from me. I love this adventure you gave me, the gift of feeling so amazing and so one with the ocean – without even knowing this, this experience profoundly changed my life.  Thank you for giving me such a gift!

…and I dedicate this blog to someone I knew whose life was taken too early, Alissa you left us too early…the sunset that I saw over the water was your spirit going to heaven, you were so wonderful and beautiful, your smile will never be forgotten!

October 3, 2013

Posted on by Carrie Siubutt

Why I run…

Today’s blog was going to be the big splash – exactly 1 month from today I will be retiring, blah, blah, blah..but instead things have happened in the last 24 hours that have changed the theme of this piece tonight.  Life has a way of throwing you curve balls and seeing how you react…the funny part though is that in today’s world those twists and turns get delivered in a text message.  So instead of letting everyone know that I can conquer the DBS world, run for all of those that can’t, I just want to let everyone know Dystonia is a test of one’s strength everyday.  It throws you curve balls in physical twists and turns, in ways that you just can’t anticipate.  I have struggled with this disease all my life and someone recently pointed out to me that I refer to myself and the disease, not just “carrie” and that struck me.  Dystonia is me, part of me, nothing different than having blue eyes or brown hair.  So I no longer refer to the disease I just talk about myself now (albeit 7 days)!  And after my last half, I’ll be running my 10K in Napa and 10K in Marin for me, to be healthy to be sporty and to have fun – not for THE disease not to prove that I am stronger than The disease, but because I can and they are fun!

I wanted to share a comment, I received tonight the comment couldn’t have been more timely, tears of joy and happiness streamed down my face all at the same time but wanted to share.  I am sharing because there are so many ways I can spread the word about Dystonia and my sister does it in her own special way as well!  So to the sisters that sometime believe that hope is a strategy for a cure to Dystonia!  Scottie, thank you, your timing was impeccable!

Hi Carrie. It’s so nice reading your story and that you have run so much to spread awareness for such a horrible disease. I too have had DBS for my dystonia. And that little sister of your’s, well let’s just say I know a little about her. She has been my person pushing me to fight and tell the drs when something isn’t right. Suzie is such an awesome person and I know firsthand how proud you make her when you run. I always had a vision that when I got out of my wheelchair, that I would do what I always thought I hated and that’s run!!! I found out you were doing this run in SF because I was searching for a run myself because I have found the joy in running. Maybe it was being in a wheelchair. Maybe it’s because I felt I took it for granted that at one point I could get up and run “if I wanted to”. (And that was rare). But I do know what inspires me now…..YOU!!! You see I don’t worry about if this joy will last. I’m here, like you, standing as one of the fortunate ones that have been given this second chance at doing something positive for others. I had this goal in mind that I would run to spread awareness as long as I could and well, you beat me to that. I now see myself as the one who will carry on in your place, spreading the same awareness and hopefully do what you have been able to do, change lives. So good luck in retirement and enjoy your down time with Suzie. Relax and let others continue what you have started. You are a HERO to many of us!!!