December 1, 2010

Open. Honest. I have Dystonia.  Stubborn. Stupid.

These are all emotions that have been circling me quite recently.  I am learning how to grapple and not be embarrassed by admitting I have limitations.  Today, a friend of mine said to me “carrie, we all have limitations, stop being stupid.” He was right.  I am more open and honest now than I have ever been about my disease but sometimes it still hurts, it still makes me sad.  I have decided everyday to practice to learn how to be honest with myself, old friends and new friends along the way.

Honesty will only help me become stronger physically and mentally.  Telling my trainer “I have a really rare disease” is not anything to be embarrassed about but likely is the right thing to do.  Informing her that I need to focus on certain areas is probably the most helpful thing to do.  Sometimes the words are painful to say but I know everyday that when I tell people I am having a bad day or I can’t do that exercise, I am not being weak, but instead being strong.

Today was a run and a swim…and the training has begun for all 5 races I have planned….but more than that today was about learning how to train my brain to start saying the words “I have Dystonia” and realize that I am a strong person whatever I do daily, because I have already done the impossible….”we all have our limitations”….I just need to start admiring mine…

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One response to “December 1, 2010

  1. Carrie…you are right…we all have limitations and things we can not fully control….the trick is to make sure they we are not putting them on ourselves. You are an amazing person and were always a very dear and loyal friend….there is no limit on that….nor is there a price. Keep your head up girl. Mummy always says we each have our own cross….how you CARRY (or Carrie) it is what matters the most!!! I love you old friend!!!

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