MARCH 9, 2011

DBS. Brain Surgery. 5 years ago. friends. ocular migraines

5 years ago, I walked into the doctor’s office and said I am ready.  Ready for what was his response…I said for you to drill two holes in my head and drop some wires…let’s just do it.  What I didn’t say – was a friend didnt live life and decided to take her own.  I wasn’t going to let that happen to me.  No matter how the cards turned out.  I had an option to be a cripple, be a freak or try to have the DBS procedure.  This was one very near and dear to my family.  My sister ended up having multiple brain surgeries and it took a toll on my family.  Quite frankly, I didn’t tell my dad until 2 days before that i was going to have 2 wholes drilled in my head and who knows what fate will bring me.  The road was not an easy one.  Friends trying to convince me they didnt see a limp, it wasn’t that bad and did I want to risk paralysis.  What they missed what the alternative, I was living in a body that I didn’t know, one that I know had more potential and one that I knew could change lives.

DBS worked for me.  I love my battery changes.  I love my scars.  I love that I can say I broke my foot RUNNING.  I love that I finally got to wear heels.  But more than that, I love that I can use my good fortune to spread the Dystonia cause with every smile and every race.  As I reflect upon my journey 5 years ago, when i swore I was going blind because I got an ocular migraine because I was so scared or because the thought of being bald embarrassed some of my friends – I can truly say I would do this again.  By no means was it an easy journey but it was worth it.

I would love to give so many shout outs to friends that were on the journey with me and think that will have to wait for the next post.  This one is about me making the decision to roll the dice and let fate take its course.   I love that I took the jump and sometimes we all make excuses why things shouldn’t happen but sometimes you just have to live life and make it happen….