MARCH 16, 2011

Research.  Donations.  Medtronic. 5 years old

I have to write this post today because I had a little surprise.  Medtronic featured me as one of their “victory” stories.  I am so honored and pleased.  I never receive emails as such and to be considered a victory is quite a little honor for me.  I have come such a long way.  When I 11 years old and the doctor told me we don’t know what you have…and then looked at my parents and said maybe it is in her head, I thought I would never have the opportunities I do today.  I had the resolve to keep my head down and just succeed at something – school.  I learned how to build a wall around my heart – don’t get your feelings hurt be people looking or staring  I always told myself.  You are smart prove it in school, college, get into Stanford and then kick butt in your career; who cares what they think…they are not as smart as me….

Fast forward 25 years later, 25, and the situation has changed.  I have Dystonia.  I had Deep Brain Stimulation – DBS.  I had my batteries changed once and I know I have many more to come. Without people that have donated money along the way, doctors who have dedicated their lives to movement disorder research and foundations that work effortlessly to help find cures, my world would be so different today.  Researchers that sit in labs all day working on different permeations to help find cures and alleviate symptoms until that cure is found, thank you.  Medtronic – Thank you.

I am learning how to tear those walls down in my heart.  No one is staring anymore because of a limp.  And to those lucky patients, hang in there.  I know the feeling.  After 5 years of this transition, everyday is still new to me.  I still get incredibly frustrated in the gym when  I can’t touch my toes and still fall because I have awful balance.  Or emotionally still can’t see the person that everyone else does because I forget what it is like to not be stared at on the street.  Acknowledge the bad days, grieve them and then look in the mirror, look at your scars, remind yourself you are a survivor, smile and always remember tomorrow is a new day!

Here is the link on the Medtronic website….

http://www.medtronicdbs.com/dystonia/patients/gallery/carrie/index.htm