October 20, 2013

I finished.

I finished strong.  I finished in pain.  I wheezed the last mile.  I was tired.  And for that whole last mile I listened to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin…I never stopped.   I kept on hearing the line “some will win, some will lose” and I was going to win.  I was going to run through the pain.  For about 2 minutes I actually couldn’t breathe…I was going so hard I had to do this.  I had to do this for me.  I never stopped believing.  The tears started at 7:15 and ended at around 10:30…Different points or places I ran by brought tears of sadness and joy to me.  It was cathartic for so many reasons.

I would feel the blisters on my toes and then I would hear Imagine Dragons – “On top of the world” and that’s how I felt.  Sitting on my couch with blisters, a strained muscle and sore lungs, I would do it all over again.  I did this one for me.  When “that’s what friends are for” someone special texted and said – “go carrie go”… I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect race.  The end was a bit chaotic and I was slightly overwhelmed and out of sorts with the crowd but amongst the 30,000 people I held my head high.  I wear my medal today with extreme pride…And as amazing as this race is/was…it also reminded me that my last one is coming up…At mile 8, I started thinking why I am giving this up I am so quick now…and then I decided me like MJ, retire on top…shine, win my all-star medal and bow out…I want to walk forever, I want to keep on running so why push fate, why push my robotics…so for 13.1 miles today, I smiled, I hi-fived anyone that put their hand out there, and I thanked every cop and every sign maker for making this one of the most memorable races.

I have to admit I was going to wait a day to write this but I want to capture every single raw emotion I feel right now.  To that hill I was so afraid of …I ran you!  For that sneaky pain at mile 10, I never stopped; despite the fact you caught me by surprise.  The calf cramps you weren’t going to stop me.  And DYSTONIA you sure weren’t going to sneak up on me today.  In fact you motivated me to prove that I just had to put the work in.  Keep my head on straight and one foot in front of the other.  For a split second I remembered San Diego  and the 3:09 that I finished in and today to get to 2:50…I am not sure what else to say other than – Amazing.

I am truly a finisher.  And I have to say when I crossed that line, the only person I wanted to hear was proud of me was ME…so Ms. Siu Butt, you killed it today on the course, your fastest race yet, you smiled and you amazed yourself and your family and friends.  Thanks for a good race!  It may be your first and last half marathon by yourself but it was everything you have always dreamed about…Miracles come true and you never gave up!  Simply amazing and I am proud!

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