December 27, 2013

Final Blog…wow, what a year!

I am not sure this blog will do 2013 justice but here goes!  My year was full of twists, turns and unexpected surprises and learnings. From January 1st this year, I felt the year was an upward battle with no end in sight.  I started the year of with news which was so unexpected that I didn’t know what the year was to bring….two weeks later, I found out the most precious thing to me my DBS was fooling me for months…I found out I had an open circuit and that I also had to replace the battery. I still remember that day vividly opening my eyes and seeing light, after feeling so lost and dark for so long.  So Lesson #1listen and follow what your body is telling you, sometimes you just have to be your own advocate.  I am so happy I kept on fighting for myself and believing in myself, especially when other doctors told me nothing was wrong with me.

My dystonia has been something that I have always described as “the disease”.  Lesson #2Acceptance.  For the first time in my life I realized dystonia is just who I am, no different than having wrinkles or black hair.  It’s just me.  Part of Carrie.  I have finally come to accept my Dystonia and truly want to change the face of this disease.  As I reflect, I have used Dystonia as a crutch that I may have abused once or twice…but the reality is life gives us hills to climb dystonia or not…so this year I climbed and climbed and finally hit summit and learned how much I accept and love the person that is me.  So I have decided to keep on raising awareness and being very vocal about my Dystonia for the foreseeable future.

Three half marathons, 5 months.  Lesson #3 – Taking care of myself.  I have learned that running marathons or races don’t prove that I am a bad ass, I AM A BAD ASS.  I don’t need to push my dystonia or my DBS to feel like I have to prove anything.  For a while, I felt lost without an identity without being able to say I am training.  So now I have shifted to saying I am a runner and you know what – I am!  The after effects of running long distances are too much and I am happy those days are done….I am excited that I retired on top.

Final, but most important – Lesson #4 – Gratitude.  I had no idea the outpouring of love my friends would have for me this year.  My family has been truly supportive and my friends nothing short of amazing.  I am always shocked at the amount of money I have raised for research to fund a cure.  My friends have been abundant with their wallets to support me in a cure for this disease.  I also realized I want to thank each and every set of eyeballs that read this blog.  Through this blog alone, I feel I educate more and more people globally about Dystonia.  So thank you for reading and sticking with me!

And as for 2013, thank you for the lessons and the learnings as hard and painful they may have been.  I am excited for the future and 2014.  These 4 lessons will be constantly with me and I am ready for a new year!  

See you in 2014!



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