Guilt, Forgiveness, DBS
After spending a very long day in LA today, I got to the airport and had to wait for about 5 minutes for a female assist. As the minutes went by, the more frustrated and cranky I got, Then when she came over she asked “Do you know the procedure?” to which I begrudgingly answered it’s been eight years, yes I know the procedure. And because I was already annoyed, I looked up to seeing three TSA agents staring as I got my pat down which made me really angry. I started to get really pissed and then started to feel terrible guilt. Why am I getting angry at a situation when the device which has given me life is causing the situation?
Then I realized I was being stupid, I was being ungrateful for the luck I had to have had such a miraculous outcome…I should be proud of my 8 years of pat downs….it has been the gift for helping me run for those that can’t, it has been the gift that has taken me paddleboarding, snowboarding, skiing, snorkeling; it has given me the greatest gift to live life fearlessly. So as I forgive myself for being mad at having to get a pat down, I am proud that I have not taken my second life for granted, that I try new things but most importantly that I raise awareness for those of us that can’t run or walk! Dystonia has been my life lesson and in a moment like today I realized it has been my greatest gift as well!